Dr Pam Spurr reveals her six things to consider if you want to have a steamy threesome
Our sex and relationship columnist Dr Pam Spurr regularly brings you must-know info for the bedroom and beyond. Follow Dr Pam on Twitter @drpamspurr
IF you've always dreamed of having a spicy threesome but never quite plucked up the courage to take the plunge, Dr Pam Spurr can help you.
Our sex and relationship columnist Dr Pam Spurr regularly brings you must-know info for the bedroom and beyond. Follow Dr Pam on Twitter @drpamspurr
Model and talk show host Amber Rose never shies away from expressing a view or four. She’s famously feuded with about half the Kardashian clan plus voiced opinions on plenty of others.
Now she’s opened up about her threesome. But I give her a thumbs-up for doing so. It’s started a much-needed conversation about three-way action.
Despite being the stuff of red hot fantasies, one sex survey found under a third would have second helpings after their threesome experience.
Amber definitely isn’t - in her words it was “f*****g horrible!”
So, if you’re venturing into this territory, it’s my duty to bring you the great threesome guide.
Here are six things you must do to make it a success...
Do you two have a sex problem?
Maybe your libido has taken a hit, or perhaps you're a bit inhibited? I’ve got bad news if you think a threesome will help.
It’s tricky fulfilling two sets of sexual needs, especially when you have bedroom-based problems. But factor in a third person’s needs? Satisfaction’s far from guaranteed for any of you.
Best leave off threesomes until your sexual relationship’s sorted.
Are both of you up for it?
If one partner’s dragging their feet, feeling pressured, anxious about it, it’s a recipe for disaster.
It can damage a partner's self-esteem, perhaps making them feel as if they aren’t ‘enough’. And they can also end up feeling angry or pressured if they're being pushed into such a sexually intimate situation.
A compromise could involve having raunchy fantasy-chat about threesomes or occasionally watching threesome porn.
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Agree the terms
Okey-doke, you’ve decided to go ahead with a threesome. But what do you each expect? Are you allowed full sex? Oral sex? Trying kinky things like bondage?
You might have very different ideas of what’s ‘allowed’. Decide what’s going to be on or off limits.
Since you’ve both been honest about your great sex-pectations for the threesome (you have done what I just suggested above, haven’t you?) this is a perfect opportunity to open up to new experiences.
Discover new pleasures, check out a sex guide (like one of mine) for new positions and techniques. And give each other permission to sex-periment during the threesome.
Finding a third party
Do you want to try chatting someone up at a pub, go to a contacts website, or find a local swingers party/sex club?
Remember sex clubs all have their own rules. You might want to get bare naked, but you don’t want to show barefaced cheek ignoring their rules.
Want an action replay?
If it’s been frisky fun and you want another. Do you want the same third person again?
Bear in mind you might get emotionally attached. Or do you always want hook ups with someone new?
Have an honest debrief after your threesome
Did either feel jealous when your partner got superhot attention from the third party? Or did you enjoy it? Discuss!
Sexual jealousy can be a problem post-threesome. If one of you discovers they can’t cope seeing their partner with someone else, take their hurt feelings seriously. Work out if things to be done differently.
Now you’re ready to try a threesome with confidence, rather than just a nervous smile and condoms!
Dr Pam’s Position: The Strip Search
Depending what kind of threesome you’re having, e.g., two men and a woman or two women and a man, there are better positions. But the ‘Strip Search’ is good to get the party started.
One person’s standing and leans against the wall – either facing it or their back to it. The other two move in for lots of caressing and even taking turns for full sex.
Follow Dr Pam on twitter @drpamspurr
Dr Pam's NEW dating guide is available NOW: http://tinyurl.com/nmmrs43
For more advice visit www.drpam.co.uk