Having a threesome was my biggest fantasy until it ruined my life…
DEAR DEIDRE: HAVING a threesome was always my biggest fantasy, but now I fear it’s ruined my life.
I’ve started to suspect the guy my girlfriend and I invited to join us for sex might be the father of our baby.
I’m 29 and she’s 27. We have an 18-month-old daughter.
Just over two years ago, my girlfriend and I tried a threesome.
We both loved the idea. I wanted to watch someone else have sex with her and she’d always dreamed of being with two men simultaneously.
We met a guy at a party who was up for it.
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He came back to our flat and we carried on drinking before one thing led to another.
It was an incredible night. I don’t think I’ve ever been so turned on.
But in our heads we’d ticked off the fantasy and neither of us had any desire to repeat it. Not long afterwards, my girlfriend discovered she was pregnant.
It wasn’t planned, but I was delighted.
We hadn’t always been careful, but on the night of our threesome we made sure we used condoms.
So it never even occurred to me that the baby might not be mine.
But over the last few months, I’ve started to question this.
I love my daughter, but as she grows she looks much more like the other guy than me.
She has wavy hair like him, while mine is dead straight, and she’s tall and slim, while I’ve always been a stocky type.
I’ve done the calculations and it’s very possible that my girlfriend got pregnant that night.
I don’t know what to do.
If I say something, I’m worried about losing control of the situation. And what if the baby isn’t mine?
I don’t know if I could bring up another man’s child, especially one conceived in those circumstances.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Babies don’t always look like either of their parents. Genes can skip generations.
Simply because your baby has physical traits in common with the other guy doesn’t mean he’s the dad. But condoms don’t always work.
The only way to know for sure is through DNA testing.
Before doing this, you need to think this through very carefully. Your relationship and a child’s future are at stake. It’s wise to have counselling first.
Contact Cellmark, a reputable DNA testing firm (cellmark.co.uk, 01235 528 000).
But do discuss your concerns with your girlfriend, however difficult it is.
