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Box braids, clip-in extensions, short-lived perms, wash-and-go styles smothered with leave-in conditioners, Bantu knots (that I could never seem to perfect) — name the hairstyle, and I can guarantee I've rocked it for at least a week. In high school and the early years of art school, the idea of my natural hair not being straightened then styled into carefully crafted waves that descended down to my midback was an intolerable thought. As one of the few black girls in my classes, I thought: Could I rock any other style? A shorter one at that? Was my hair still "good hair" if it wasn't effortlessly cascading over my shoulders? Would people still know it was beautiful if it was short?
After years of amateur bleaching and dyeing my hair pink at the ends (I blame my Aries impulsivity and Charlotte Free), curling with a wand twice a day, straightening with powerful flatirons, and throwing it into topknots that were too tight, my hair was begging for a change. It wasn't until I sat in front of a salon mirror with my hair freshly blow-dried, listening to my stylist exclaiming blasphemies about "dead ends," a "dry scalp," and "irreparable damage," that I realized I had to make the big chop. My hair was fried. My pride was low, and a catalog of short styles was laying across my lap.
The first cut is the deepest
My first bob cut experience left me in America's Next Top Model makeover-episode tears. My hair was snipped above my ears and had to be parted to the left so no one would notice my fraying edges. This bob was razor cut, asymmetrical, and a little too edgy for the 2012 Blair Waldorf vibes I'd favored for months. I couldn't figure out how to style this hair — or this new person.
I suddenly felt less feminine (though I know today hair length isn't linked to femininity) and, oddly, highly dissatisfied with my eyebrows. Fortunately, my hair grows rather quickly, so it only took about three months for it to come back. This time it was a bit healthier, and so I started styling it with beach waves and retexturizing spray. Don't judge me; I was living in suburbia. I continued to do my hair as such as it grew out again.
The second chop
I was living in the humidity of southern Georgia, surrounded by endless pool and Jacuzzi gatherings, so my hair-care routine quickly fell apart. It was long again, yes, but frail and lifeless. It was in desperate need of a cut. This time I headed to Charles Gregory Salon on Peachtree Street in Atlanta, armed with screenshots of Kerry Washington, Gabrielle Union, and Taylor Swift. I asked for a blunt bob with blunt bangs. The difference between my first chop and my second one was that the latter was my choice. Plus, the stylist was an expert from Los Angeles who finessed my look with both beach-girl vibes and a city sleekness I didn't even know I wanted. I just loved the shape of the cut — the bangs hitting just above my eyebrows and a subtle asymmetric length that could only be noticed at an angle.
New hair, new me
With this cut, my natural hair was swinging, weightless, and stayed perfectly straight for weeks on end. A good, well-thought-out haircut can inspire changes in many parts of your life, but I was caught off guard when it started happening to me. Call it a power bob if you will, but I was suddenly more decisive about my outfit choices, my makeup, and my career path. Maybe Anna Wintour, who has been rocking a bob with bangs for decades, has been onto something this whole time.
Before, I craved the attention that my long, natural hair brought me. Now, I'm in love with the feeling my bob gives me, and it's inspired me to take better care of my hair. I used to leave my hair unwashed and undernourished, letting the environment take its toll and the flatiron suck the life out of it. Now I have a routine that cannot be broken along with matching confidence from the realization that yes, I’m still feminine with short hair, and of course my hair is "good," and yes, it’s still considered natural.
Instead of waking up and running a 450-degree iron over my hair, I carefully wrap it with a silk scarf at night, applying argan oil to the ends, before giving my scalp its nightly massage. I only straighten it during salon visits, as opposed to every morning or the moment any sign of a kink appears. When it's humid, I spray Mizani’s Thermasmooth Shine Extend Anti-Frizz Spray, and when it’s raining, I flip out the sides and slide on a beanie. During the summer of my first year in New York City, I braided the top layer and let some of my natural waves come out to play. If you go to a good salon and find the right hairstylist (shout out to Vanessa at Brooklyn’s O’Salon), your hair will continue to grow out while keeping its blunt shape. It’s been three months since my last salon visit, and my hair is still in a blunt cut. For me, this is the best protective style for my hair as it requires little styling, little product, and recutting every once in a while.
One thing I’ve noticed about the toxic pressures society puts on black women's hair is that they are multifaceted. In my younger years, straight, long hair was the look, even if it meant damaging your ends. During college, having "natural hair" meant rocking a perfectly crafted 'fro with the “right” (looser) God-given curl pattern. While the number of black women getting relaxers is decreasing, the notion that one particular look — slicked-down baby hair and smooth, loose natural curls — is acceptable is still prevalent.
I urge anyone with natural hair (or with relaxed hair) to experiment. Straightening your natural hair is fine if you take care of it. Leaving your hair in a blown-out Afro is acceptable. Laying down your baby hairs and putting your curls into space buns is acceptable. Abandoning the idea that my hair has to be long and luscious to be beautiful has freed my soul in more ways than one. For me, the blunt bob with matching blunt bangs (sometimes baby bangs when I’m feeling grungy) is my ultimate power move, and it’s one I’ll continue to wear with pride.
More natural-hair stories to check out:
- Getting Box Braids Showed Me That People Ask Black Women Questions They Wouldn't Ask Anyone Else
- Here's What You Need to Know About Traveling If You've Got a 'Fro
- The Most Amazing Hairstyle Ideas for Your Afro, No Matter the Size
Now watch Tinashe try nine things she's never tried before:
